Ugly Second Grader

I have lost fifty-two pounds of fat—that’s an ugly second grader. The wall of two hundred ten has been broken and I’m now a svelte two hundred eight. Don’t snicker. It’s a long way down from the 2X clothes and size nine shoes. Yes, even the shoe size has shrunk.

I did manage to squeeze into size 16 pants yesterday. The resulting muffin top was too gross for polite company so I switched to the extra large for the day. I am so close to being a perfect 16, I almost went shopping. That would not be prudent as I hope to be in a size 14 by June. So I picked up a few smaller pants at EcoThrift—my favorite second hand store, paying ninety-nine cents a pair. This will have to do until I hit my goal.

Although I battle cravings every day, the diet has been simple to follow. You would think I would crave pies or cookies. Actually, it’s out of season stuff like watermelon, cherries, and lamb. Lamb is seasonal. Try to find lamb chops in January. My raw-local diet has made the exotic foods like Chilean cherries come off my list replaced by pippin apples available at the market—oh so yummy with fresh ground peanut butter.

For over a month, Ultimate Flora brand probiotics are part of Paul and my daily diet, thanks to the suggestion of our friend, Pam Medeiros. I take adult formula and the Moose has been on the critical care formula to counteract the antibiotics flowing through his veins. These work better than anything else Paul has tried. Though this is my first experience with probiotics for colon health, I have much happier intestines since I started taking the cultures. You might want to check it out.

"All My Children"

In 2010, I hit my goal of 225 pounds—the weight I needed to be Paul’s kidney donor. In the interim, Paul’s health has declined. His foot wound is now of serious concern. The transplant cannot happen until he is free from open wounds for six months. So July 2011 would be the best case scenario before I jump onto a gurney and hand over a body part to a group of people in masks.

I am currently 44 pounds lighter than my July 1st beginning weight of 260. At 216 pounds—lost one pound this year so far—I am going to push to lose a mere 26 pounds by July 1st 2011. This would put me at my ideal weight 190 and ideal size 14. A healthy goal by any standard.

My darling Moose gave me a Rounder for Christmas. That is a medium size trampoline with a rail that I can use in my living room. Yesterday I bounced for thirty minutes. Today I feel every muscle especially in my fanny and thighs. I am planning to jump to All My Children five days a week and pounce off those inches. The weight is coming off faster than the inches. Exercise is the only answer.

Oh, I am also planning to write this blog about three times a week. I have received comments that once a week is not helpful to the dieter. Expect recipes and meal planning in the following weeks. Okay?

Have a Blessed Day!

The Answer is “40 Inch Four Folding with Handle Trampoline”

Ignoring the obvious syntax error in the above title which was, by the way, taken off of an enclosed instruction manual, the question? What did I get from my husband for Christmas? Wait…it’s not Christmas. Not exactly but I did answer the door when FedEx delivered straight from China, a package with an ink rendering of the contents on the cardboard covering.

Yes! I beseeched my darling on a daily basis for the newest gismo, even going so far as to print out a Google price comparison of the appropriate resellers. It arrived this afternoon.

Note to all newly-weds: if you want something specific other than car floor mats for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or other important event, printouts of the online vendor will do much to increase your mate’s ability to please your wants and needs. Paul and I have been together almost twenty-nine years. We are skilled at fulfilling each other’s bliss.

I did offer to wrap it but he and I both knew that I would not be calm until the assembled work-out gear stood in the living room.

So twenty minutes later, the box shredded and the packing material spread over two rooms—thanks to my basset/pointer mutt—I mounted shiny new trampoline in front of the fireplace and bounced like Tigger, "a very bouncy fella."

I bounced until my gluteus maximus clinched like the Philadelphia Eagles clinching the NFC East. Real tight in just seven minutes and forty-three seconds.

That goal of a getting into a new size-sixteen dress for New Year’s may be within my reach. Yes, I lost one pound this week and I gained a trampoline. Life can be good if you focus on the little stuff.
Merry Christmas

God Bless American Express

I lost two pounds this week. The previous week I lost nothing. The difference? Beca and I went spa-ing.

We've been talking about going with a group of women to Napa or Calistoga. The money didn’t seem to be available for such an extravagance. I'm one of those women. I have a bottle of make-up in the cupboard, touch up my own hair at the temples, and never really spend money on the luxury of massage. Matter of fact, it’s been about fifteen years since my last massage.

So I saved up my American Express points—enough to get Beca and me fifty minute body massages, forty-five minute facials and half hour exfoliating foot-softening treatments in a facility close to home. Oh Baby! The foot rub far exceeded anything that went before. By the end of our sessions, we did not have a stressed muscle between us. We had plenty when we had walked in the door.

In our happy bodies, we wandered around Old Town, had lunch, and of course shopped. A perfect day in my book. Life is so much more bearable when the neck doesn’t ache and the back isn’t hurting. I didn’t know how unhappy my feet were until they received all that attention to make them better.

We vowed to spa every three months. Well, maybe we can do it at least every fifteen years.